TRUE AND FALSE IDEAS OF DEREK ROGERS

 

 

The False

 

With Special Thanks To Ross Noble

 

I was watching one of Ross Noble’s DVD’s called ‘Fizzy Logic’ and I came up with this idea after I first watched the end of it.

 

Imagine if there was an episode of ‘American Dad’ where Francine and Hayley have a punch up. And a few days after the punch up, Francine makes Hayley be on roller blades, wearing the top half of a burqa, with a motorcycle helmet on, with a top hat, on fire, naked from the waist down, technically blind and makes her skate down a hallway through a fire door to a stairwell swinging a stingray.

 

On the subject of roller blading, it’s the gayest thing you can do. You can have sex with a man and that is less gay than roller blading. Where else can you combine action and gayness in one perfect union? The only way to get more action and gayness into one short activity is to fire Elton John out of a cannon.

 

 

The True

 

Ideas For Names Of Future Bands That Would Be Famous

 

I was watching an episode of The Alan Carr Show and I saw this band performing at the end of it and I’m not sure if they were called ‘B’ or ‘Plan B’. At first I thought they were called ‘B’ and I thought “What a dull name for a band”. No offence to the band themselves though. So I decided to come up with my own ideas for names of future bands that would be famous and here is a list of what I have come up with. Of course they would become ineligible if and when they do get chosen.

 

The Houdinis

One Track Mind

The Ship Wreckers

The Pineapples

Home From Home

Amigos

Split Personality

The Chocolate Oranges

Original Approach

The Inspectors

Bits And Bytes

The Court Jesters

The Honey Badgers

The Cartoonists

The Con Artists

The Dolphins

The Negotiators

The Spitfires

Stage Struck

The Butlers

The Clay Pigeons

The Underdogs

Nelson’s Column

The Renovators

Allsorts

General Tempest

The Official Retrievers