IDEAS OF DEREK ROGERS
An Idea For A New Song Title
I’ve come up with a title for a new song called ‘Never Put A Blanket Over An Owl’,
named after and about one of stand-up comedian Ross Noble’s surreal ideas, only I
wouldn’t be all that good about writing a tune for the song, let alone the lyrics.
It’s an idea I’ve come up with after I watched Ross’ third live DVD called ‘Randomist’
where in the first half of the show, he tells the audience to never put a blanket
over an owl.
A New Name For A Pet Dog
I’ve come up with a new name for a pet dog called ‘Randy-Pan’, named after a toy
wolf on Ross Noble’s fourth live DVD called ‘Fizzy Logic’ that a young man named
Daniel who Ross was speaking to in the front row brought along to the show as a mascot.
The DVD was recorded in Canberra in Australia in 2007 and released late that year.
Apparently Daniel won the toy wolf at a carnival by scoring very high points on the
‘Test your strength’ machine. In the second half of the show, Ross asked him why
he was called Randy-Pan, and Daniel said that there was a Bill Hicks scene about
Randy-Pan the goat boy, and Ross said to him that he liked the way he was operating
and that he named the wolf after a popular Bill Hicks routine, and that he’s brought
him along to the show, and that he has become part of a comedy show, and that hopefully
in the future, that might get shown somewhere else, and someone might name their
dodgy animal after something in the show, and so it goes on through time, repeating
again and again, like the circle of life, involving dodgy acrylic scary toys won
by carnival people.
I’ve come up with a plan that’s related to that bit in the DVD. This involves anyone
who comes across this bit on my website and I’m a big fan of this sort of thing.
If you have a pet dog or are about to get one and you don’t know what to call it,
give it the name Randy-Pan after Daniel’s toy wolf from the DVD. I’m not saying that
everyone who has a pet dog should call it Randy-Pan, especially as there are probably
many names for pet dogs. I’m hoping that it will have come into effect not too long
in the future, but at the end of the day I don’t expect the whole world to revolve
around me and what I want. I do know that Randy can also be a rude word but apparently
it is also a person’s name, like with the singers Randy Newman and Randy Crawford,
and the ‘South Park’ character ‘Randy Marsh’, Stan Marsh’s Dad.
An Idea For An Episode Of ‘American Dad’
I’ve also come up with an idea for an episode of a cartoon sitcom called ‘American
Dad’ where Hayley attacks Francine, and soon afterwards, as a punishment from Stan,
Hayley is on roller-blades, wearing the top half of a burqa, with a motorcycle helmet
on, with a top hat, naked from the waist down, technically blind, on fire, and skating
down a long straight road swinging a stingray and dodging an emu. This is related
to a sketch from Ross Noble’s ‘Fizzy Logic’ DVD in which he asks the audience for
suggestions for his ‘Falling owl stunt’ near the end of the performance, something
which apparently hadn’t been planned for the show.
Apparently roller-blading is the gayest thing you can do. You can have sex with a
man and that is less gay than roller-blading. Where else can you combine action and
gayness in one perfect union? The only way to get more action and gayness into one
short activity is to fire Elton John out of a cannon.
A Half Hour Film Called ‘Rock And Roll Butchers’
This bit is related to an eight and a half minute video on YouTube called ‘Ross Noble
- Pointy Man’ where Ross Noble is doing a gig in Australia and nearly seven minutes
into the show, he asks some late comers where they’ve travelled from, and one of
them says “Rockingham” and Ross does some rock and roll miming and says that it sounds
like some kind of heavy metal butcher.
I’ve come up with an idea for a film that’s only half an hour long called ‘Rock And
Roll Butchers’ where there’s a butcher’s place the size of the O2 in London where
they have live music there and the bands that play there have their musical instruments
connected to some sort of pork mincing machine. Because it would be only half an
hour long, it would be the same length as a ‘Wallace and Gromit’ story. There wouldn’t
be much happening in it, which would of course be very rare indeed for a film, but
here is a list of songs that can be featured in it that the bands can play.
Free - All Right Now
Alice Cooper - School’s Out
Status Quo - Down Down
Be Bop Deluxe - Maid In Heaven
The Jam - In The City
AC/DC - Rock And Roll Damnation
The Motors - Dancing The Night Away
